A few weeks ago a friend of ours slipped on some black ice and fell and broke her knee. She was taken into surgery the next day and is slowly recovering at a rehab facility here in town that also provides long term care for elderly patients. My wife and I wanted to see her so we stopped by yesterday to visit with her and spend a little time together.
Afterwards as we were heading down the hallway towards the exit doors, my attention was drawn to an elderly man sitting in a wheel chair further down the hallway with a blank stare on his face. I watched him as we got closer wondering about him. So many thoughts and feelings were filling my head and my heart because I was remembering years earlier when my Mom was in a rehab facility for a short time and how unhappy she was. I had not been in a rehab facility since before my Mom passed away and I was feeling a lot of things. Looking at this man I felt a little sad for him because he looked lost; a look I remember seeing on my Mom's face so many times.
As we got closer to him he slowly looked up and his eyes locked onto mine. I smiled at him as if to recognize him and his face lit up. He opened his mouth a little and mumbled what sounded like "hi". I was only about three feet away at this moment and I said to him, "Hi there." In that one moment I felt his pain, his sadness and his helplessness. I had to fight back some tears as I began to empathize. What just happened? Whatever it was it really affected me emotionally. I quickly composed myself and we left the building and headed towards the car.
When we got into the car I told my wife that being in there had brought back a lot of memories of when my Mom was alive. She agreed and said she felt the same thing. We both have a difficult time seeing elderly people in those types of facilities because we both empathize a little too much. It was the recognition when our eyes met that was the catalyst for me. As I approached him and he saw me, I wonder if he was thinking about when he was a younger man, perhaps my age, and thinking about all the years that had passed to bring him to where he was at that moment- sitting alone in a wheelchair in a care facility looking a little lost. Looking at him I was also thinking about where I will be in thirty some odd years and how I will feel and what will be going through my mind.
There's no way of knowing what the future may bring, and there's no guarantee of the outcome. I guess what I hope for is that I can grow old gracefully, surrounded by friends and family who love me. If for some reason fate has other plans and I end up in a long-term care facility feeling lost and alone, I pray that someone shares a smile that brightens my day, and reminds me of a time when I was a younger man with hopes and dreams still ahead of me. After all, a smile is a powerful thing.
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